| 4/6/07 - The Longest day On arriving at the airport nice and early, and checking in, I managed to meet up with the new Mr & Mrs Miller, who were heading off on their honeymoon to the Thai beaches. Very nice. After  saying goodbye to Andy & Sarah, I headed off to the departure gate. On seeing the plane that was to take me on a 15 hour flght across the Pacific, I thought it looked a little on the small side. My fears were confirmed when I stepped on board and saw how much leg room i'd be having. The flight was to make a stop in Auckland, NZ. this is where I figure they will changing us to a real plane. Coming in off of the Pacific and over the coast of NZ, it reminded me alot of Devon (Home Devon, not the meat product Devon). Lots of trees and green fields, It was just alot more hilly. On landing at Auckland airport I was informed that this tinpot plane with zero leg room or arse space was what was going to get me across the largest body of water on the planet in one giant leap. I considered changing into my swimmers, just in case. Luckily the plane made it with no problems. As the plane came in over the coast of Chile, I opened my sunblind to take in the view. Beneath us was a mix of farming land and a scarred landscape of mountains pointing up through the haze. As the plane banked around to land, an amazing scene came into view. Just outside my window were the mighty Andes, complete with snow capped peaks. i would soon be flying over these, at night, on my way to Lima. For some reason I kept thinking of the movie 'Alive'. I think the pilot had seen the same movie, as he took a 'shortcut' across the ocean. After going through the madness that was Peru Immigration & Customs, where you push a button for a lucky dip to see if you go through the red or green channel, it was time to find a taxi.The guide books suggest US$20. The 'official' taxi stand wanted US$28, so I risked the free for all ouside the airport. I blagged one for 40 Soles (US$13). I was shown to a taxi with more dents than body panels. I soon found out why this was. Intersections are a free for all. Whoever gets there first, crosses. I lost count of the number of times I put my hands on the seat in front of me because I thought we were going to hit somebody. And I closed my eyes after we went through a red light. It didn't take long to reach my hotel...oddly. 32 hours after I had left my house, I was finally at the hotel...and it was still the same day. 5/6/07 After all of that travelling in one day, I was glad of a sleep in. I eventually dragged myself out of bed, and decided to head to the old city. I asked the doorman at the hotel if I should get a taxi, and he said that if I was going to the city, just walk 6 blocks straight. I thought this seemed a little close, not to mention the wrong direction, but I kept walking, he knew best. I walked down alot of side streets, found an unusual shaped church, walked all the way around a golf course at San Isidro, which was at least 1km long, but still no sign of the Old City. I walked down more side  streets, before finding a main road that led through Jesus Maria to the Plaza Bolognesi. I found the Palacio de Justicia about 1/2 km away. I was getting close now. From here I headed North again. While waiting to cross at a junction, I saw 2 guys entertaining drivers by twirling flags. One of them was Christian, who told me he used to be a tour guide in Cuzco. He came to Lima to earn more money, but could not find work, so he and his friend get what they can from the drivers. He told me he is married to a Norwegian woman, but cannot get a visa to live over there. He then offered to hook me up with weed, and take me out to 'party' in the evening. That sounded like it was going to cost me drinks for 3 people all night, so after getting directions to Plaza San Martin, I left them to it. Plaza San Martin is a large public square, surrounded by old Colonial buildings. This was the kind of place i'd been looking for all day, and I only had to walk 10km to get there. Plaza San Martin links to Plaza De Armas by a pedstrian mall. I followed this, and after a detour throughthe 19th century main post office, which is now full of tourist market stalls, I arrived in whatused to be the centre of old Lima. Not  one building of the original Plaza De Armas remains, due to various earthquakes, but the fountain in the middle does date back to 1650. While walking around the Plaza I met Waly (pronounced Why-lee), who told me he was an art student. He then tried, and ultimately succeeded, in selling me some of his art work. I wish I could have bought more, but I think I paid too much for what I got anyway ( I'm crap at bartering, I feel like i'm ripping them off). After walking around a new garden/ruins complex, I walked back past San Fransisco church. This is where I met a girl who introduced herself as Isobella. She asked if I spoke English as she needs to practise hers. I translate this as "I want money". I find out that she is trained in office work and accounts, but cannot find work in Lima. I translate this as "I want Money". I ask for directions to Plaza Bolivar. She says it is close and offers to show me. I translate this as "I want money". As we walk down the street towards the Plaza, she says "I live on this street, a few blocks further". "Erm, right. Ok!?!". She says "Do you like the sex?". "Erm, sorry??". She asks again " Do you like the sex?". Now, there are alot of pretty women in Lima, but this was one of the women with a 'nice personallity'. Even  if she was a pretty one, i'm not going off to a strangers house and paying (I translated this offer as "I want money") for sex. I fumbled my words and said I was at the place that I wanted. She grabbed my arm and dragged me across the road to the Plaza, saying she would be my company (which I again translated as "I want money"). After I turned down an offer of taking her into the museum, she shook my hand and said "Adios". After this I got myself lost in a real 'locals' area of the old city. Lima reminded me a little of Bangkok. There are a lot of beat up cars driving around polluting the air. Sometimes in congestion, it's hard to breath. I also has the effect of making all of the buildings dirty. Add this to the old buildings that have been left to run down, and it's not as pretty as it should be here. Once I found myself in Plaza San Martin again, I asked for directions back to Miraflores (where I was staying), and decided to walk it, figuring it would be quicker and easier now I knew the way....After 50 blocks, I gave up. 6/6/07 After a really bad, jet lagged nights sleep, I decided to get up and head to the coast. Having checked my maps, I was only a few blocks away.  After leaving the hotel, I forgot which road to take. I figured that all of the roads were heading in the same direction, therefore, must head to the coast. Not so. After running out of my first choice road, I had to cross into another street, then another. Each time finding myself in a more run down area. After walking through a small Plaza, I turned onto what would be the last street that I would walk down in this area. Looking across the street, I saw a row of small shops that had had their top stories demolished, but were still trading. There was even a dog on what was now the roof. Almost war zone like. As I walked further down the street, very aware of the kind of suburb I was walking through, I saw a man with a 3ft machete. he was swinging it at the ground. I wanted to stop and turn around, but my leg just kept walking. Then I saw 2 more guys, with rakes. turns out they were inmates from the local correctional facillity, doing some gardening. WHAT ON EARTH WERE THEY THINKING!?! GIVING A MACHETE TO AN INMATE!?! That's just asking for trouble. Shortly after this scare, I ran out of road.I grabbed the only taxi in the street and headed back to where I started. More scary driving, this time with no seat belts! After starting anew, I found the correct road, and walked about 5 blocks before reaching the coast. The sun broke through the haze, and the sky turned blue. Lima is on a cliff top, at the bottom of the cliff is a main road and a series of small, dirty beaches with filthy water. All along the cliff top, for kilometers, are a series of gardens and a shopping plaza. Some of the gardens have sculptures in them, while another had plants laid out like the Nazca lines.After the long walk back to the Hotel, I found out that I had to move out of my room, and move in with somebody else. this turned out to be Olly (England). After a chat & a brief nap, it was time to meet with the rest of the tour group. our guide for the evening was Dannia. The rest of the group consisted of: Myself, Olly, Amanda (Canada), Bitte & Lars (Sweden), Janet (England), Kate & Helen (England) and Kim & Anna (Canada). During our introduction to the tour, we were served Pisco Sours, a cocktail made with a local Brandy. Not too bad. After our meeting, Dannia took several of us to a restaraunt to try some local food. My choice included beef hearts, yummy. Then it was time to attempt an early night, ready for our early start. 7/6/07 No luck, another relatively sleepless night. After maybe a couple hours sleep, it was 3am, time to get ready for our 4am bus to the airport. It wasn't long before we were airbourne on our fantastically named 'Aerocondor' flight to Cuzco, Flying over a rugged terrain of lakes and snow capped peaks, with the sun coming up over the mountains. We came in low and banked left over the tops of some mountains to see Cuzco laid out in front of us. The temperature on arrival was between 0 & 5*C. This was going to be a shock. Cuzco was once the foremost city of the Inca Empire. Itis nestled on a plateau, surrounded by mountains, at 3326m above sea level. That is nearly 3.5km above where most of you live. The altitude has an enormous effect on your body. Just waling up the stairs to the hotel room was enough to make me puff for breath. If we thought the cold was a shock, it was nothing compared to the heat of the day. 
By 10am it was up to 20*C and the sun was vicious. Myself and Olly decided to heat out and visit Koricancha, Santo Domingo Church. This is a beautiful Spanish Building that has been built over the top of an Inca Sun Temple. The Incas were master builders, not using cement to hold their blocks together. For the Spanish to merge the two buildings together, instead of demolishing the temple as they did in most other places, seems to show a little respect. There is a place in the church itself, where an Inca wall joins a Spanish wall. the difference in workmanship is astonashing. I think I could have done better. 
We headed off to the Plaza De Armas via the alley of Loreto, which still has Inca walls on both sides. We were lucky enough to arrivein Cuzco during the festival of Corpus Christi, a Catholic festival that involves dancing, eating and carrying statuesof the saints around the Plaza in front of the Cathedral. Myself and Olly, trying to find shelter from the sun, settled in a first floor bar overlooking the Plaza and the festivities. After a bite to eat, we headed off into the crowds.  We ended up at Plaza San Fransisco, where an enormous feast is held. The only meal served is Chirihuchu. It seemed to be the Peruvian equivalent of a mixed grill, except that it was made up of Sausage, Chicken, Cheese and Cuy, or Guinea Pig to you and me. The poor things don't look quite as cute after they have been cooked up. The sun and the early start were taking their toll on us, so we headed back to the hotel room to relax. Later that evening, myself, Olly, Amanda, Janet, Kate & Helen, met in the hotel bar for Pisco Sours, then headed off out for dinner. We headed for a place called Los Perros, which had been recommended to Amanda. It was a good choice. Bright colours, comfy sofas, cool music and great food. After the food and drink had finished us off, we all headed back for an early night.
8/6/07 Yay! I got some sleep! Nearly 8 hours as well. The booze worked. After re-checking our duffel bags for weight (no more than 7kg for the porters to carry on the trail), we hopped into our bus with our guide ozzi. It was another beautiful 20*C day, and there was nothing but blue sky and sunshine when we reached our first ruins of the Sacred Valley, Sacsayhuaman (also known as Sexy Woman). The name actually means Satisfied Falcon. There is very little of the original structure left, mainly the larger stones, weighing up to 300 tonnes, that the Spanish just couldn’t move. Once a year they still hold an Inca festival in the ruins. 
Our next stop was at a project run by G.A.P. (our tour company) to help out the local people. Here we got close to Alpacas, and saw how the women make their bright coloured shawls etc, by dying, spinning and weaving with Alpaca & Sheep wool. 
We then headed for Pisaq. Pisaq consists of two parts. The Colonial Spanish part next to the river in the valley, and the Inca part perched 600m above, perched on a mountain spur. We went for a walk around the Inca part. This old citadel consists of huge agricultural terraces, military watch towers, housing and temples all linked with narrow foot paths, steep steps & a rock tunnel. The terraces sweep for hundreds of meters down the mountain slope, all originally supplied by a network of water channels, fed by a natural spring that is still flowing. This is a beautiful location, with views over the colonial part of Pisaq, the river and the surrounding mountains. As we walked around, one of the local men was playing a traditional recorder like instrument, it was very haunting. It was like standing in a scene from a movie. 
After a stop for an all you can eat buffet lunch that included Alpaca meat, and various other unknown items, we headed to our home for the night, Ollantaytambo. After a brief stop at the hotel, we headed to the Inca fortress. We went through the village of Ollantaytambo, which is known as a living Inca city. The locals live in houses that have Inca foundations and ground floors, but Spanish Colonial upper floors. The fortress was the last strong hold of Manco Inca, the head Inca, before the Spaniards took the fortress from him in a bloody battle, believing they had taken the last Inca Citadel. Back at the hotel they were having major plumbing issues, no water for showers, so we headed out for dinner at a Peruvian/Italian restaurant. Alpaca Risotto anyone? Then another early night and try to get a good nights sleep for our adventure ahead. 9/6/07 No such luck, another relatively sleepless night. I look in the mirror and scare myself, I’m not pretty at the best of times let alone when I’m living on no sleep. We waved goodbye to Olly who was walking the Lares Trail due to the limited numbers allowed on the Inca Trail, only 400 per day. He would meet us again at Macchu Picchu. When we boarded the bus we met up with the 5 new members of our walking team, Ricky & Claire (England), Fiona (Scotland) and Hans & Gill (Australia). From Ollantaytambo we took the bus to Km 82 (2700m), the start of our trek. Here we met up with our assistant guide, Jesus. Walking with Jesus, how could anything go wrong. After registering and getting our passports stamped with our start date, we set off. The track was relatively easy going at the start, a gravel path with few hills.  About 5km in we came across our first set of ruins, Q’entimarka (or Llacapata). These were only discovered by accident in 1911 by a party searching for Macchu Picchu. After this point the path became a lot steeper, both up & down. This was an ideal time to get stuck into our Cocoa leaves. Cocoa leaves come from the same plant that Cocaine is made from. They are used to treat altitude sickness and to give extra energy. They come in a variety of forms including sweets and tea. We had taken the raw leaves with us. We were shown how to take the leaves, put a pinch of some black stuff that looked like hash in the middle, roll them up and chew them. The first time I did this properly, I did notice that walking was easier. I also noticed that part of my face went numb.
After a steep climb up the side of a ridge, we reached our lunch destination, where our porters, who had left the same time as us, had already set up the lunch tents & started cooking a delicious meal for us. They applauded us when we walked through the gate. I felt awful. These guys had bundles of equipment weighing at least 30Kg, and they had overtaken us AND made lunch. After food and rest we started on the rest of the walk to camp. The weather was gorgeous and the scenery was amazing, but that didn’t make the path any less steep. Just walking at this height is hard, walking up a switchback (zig zag) path, up the side of a mountain is bloody hard. Eventually we reached our camp at Yunkachimpa, where again our magic porters had packed up the lunch camp, overtaken us, and set up our meal & sleeping tents. How do they do it? Cocoa leaves I recon. After a late afternoon tea and a delicious dinner later on, most of the group headed off for a well earned sleep. Myself, Ozzi, Kim & Anna hung around for a few games of uno in the warm dinner tent. I won one game, but was then beaten by everybody, including one of the porters who spoke no English and had never played before. But the thought of an early night was too good to miss, so I headed off to my tent to snuggle up in my hopefully warm sleeping bag. Tip of the day: Don’t use a squat toilet in the dark! 10/6/07 
I...was...freezing! Every time I moved, there was an icy breeze through my breathing hole in my cocoon sleeping bag, and when I solved that, I was just plane cold! Eventually it was ‘wake up’ time. I emerged from my sleeping bag to come face to face with a porter staring through my tent window to see if I wanted tea or coffee. A nice sentiment, but kind of freaky at the same time.
After a slightly late breakfast and an introduction to the 20 magic porters and staff that were helping us survive, we headed off on what was to be our hardest day. We were to walk 16km and travel over 2 high passes. I was still cold in the morning as we were in the shadow of a mountain. There were patches of frost around the camp site and littering the path all the way to the first rest stop, at Llulluchapampa.  Shortly after leaving the rest stop, we broke out of the shadow and into the gorgeous sunshine. The first pass we would go through would be Dead Womans pass at 4200m. Our camp last night was at 3300m, meaning that over the 5km walk, we would gain 900m in altitude. Like walking wasn’t already hard enough. While climbing the steep incline, we heard that Janet was suffering from altitude sickness at the rest stop and would be heading back down the trail. She would meet us again at Macchu Picchu. It took us 3 hours to walk the 5km to the top of Dead Womans Pass. It was bloody hard going, with a steep set of steps at the end leading up to the pass itself.
Eventually there we were, out of breath, stood on a ridge with a huge drop on each side. After a brief rest and the best tasting block of chocolate ever, it was time to head the 5km down the other side to our lunch stop at Paqaymayo (3600m). This consisted of a large amount of stone steps and a sloping stone path. Going down on a path like this puts more strain on your body than going up. It was amazing to reach the bottom and look up to where we were only an hour or so before. Lunch was another feast, and we had time to lay in the sun afterwards. Getting up again to start the ascent to the second pass, Runkuraqay High Pass (3900m) was pretty hard. This path again consisted of very steep stone steps, interspersed with another sloping stone path. At around 3700m, we came across Abra Runkuraqay, the ruins of an Inca military outpost, perched on the edge of the valley.  From here it was more steps to the top of the pass. By now I was Having trouble walking up the steps (i’m no spring chicken anymore), so all credit goes to the Incas who put the bloody things in. It must have taken years. Because of the angle of the swichback path, every time it looked as though we might be at the top...there were more god damn steps! There were more false endings than Lord Of The Rings. Eventually we reached the top. Now there was only one way to go...down the other side. Obviously the path consisted of more steep steps. This Inca trail lark was starting to seem like a stupid idea. After a long walk down, we came to a lookout where we could see the Sayaqmarka Ruins. Ozzi also pointed out our campsite for the night...on the other side of the valley, Something he had neglected to tell us until now.
After going down & up more steps, I was truly over the Inca trail for the day. I had no energy left in me. I collapsed in a heap in my tent. I did manage to raise myself for afternoon tea, then dinner, but joined everybody else in an early night, with the hope that it wouldn’t be as cold as last night. 11/6/07  Awake at 1am. I need a pee. Do I brave the cold outside? No.
3am, it’s no good. I have to go. I slide out of the relative warmth of my sleeping bag and put my trousers and fleece on. Luckily I’m not fully awake, so I don’t feel the cold too much, and I’m able to block out the state of the toilets completely. I wear my fleece and hat back to bed. After a few hours of tossing, turning & shivering, It’s time to get up. I hear Fiona laugh from the tent next to me. I open the door to find out what she is laughing at. All of the condensation on the inside of my tent has turned to ice. Weird. Once I get out of my ice palace, I see that she is laughing at my T-shirt, which I left on top of my tent to dry, which is now solid. Apparently it got down to -9*C after my trip to the toilets. 
After a few warming cuppas and a delicious pancake and rice pudding breakfast, we headed off on the largely downhill trek tour camp for the night, Winayhuayna (2650m). To get there we first had to ascend to Phuyupatamarca Pass (3800m). It took a while for everybody to get into their stride, what with all of the aches and pains from yesterday, but when we reached the pass the view was stunning, with a view into 2 different valleys, both with snow capped mountains in the back ground.We could even see our finishing point at Agua Calliantes way down at the bottom of the valley. 
From here it was all downhill. More steep stone steps. Woo Hoo. As we decended, we came down into high jungle rain forest, there were more trees and plants, and things were just generally greener everywhere. Overlooking our camp for the night are the ruins of an Inca farming terrace called Intipata. These were only discovered in the 1980s by a crew installing electricity pylons. The walk down through these ruins was quite perilous on narrow, steep stone steps. 
Just a short dirt path away we reached our camp, which had a bar, obviously our first stop. After a hot shower, everybody put fresh clothes on and headed back to the bar. While sunning myself in the beer garden, chatting to Amanda, I was the victim of an unprovoked attack. A native wasp saw fit to sting me on the sole of my foot, not good when you are on a trekking holiday. After some screaming and much flailing, I managed to dislodge the big bastard. No permanent damage seemed to be done.  After a little more R&R, we headed to the Winayhuayna ruins. These were the most complete ruins we had seen. Spread out over a steep embankment were farming terraces, 2 story accommodation, functioning water fountains and a still functioning network of baths, that worked on a cascade principle. Not sure I’d want to be in the bottom bath.
That night at dinner, we gave all of our support crew their tips, which were well earned. After dinner a few of us went to the bar again for more beer and a few games of cards. Everybody else went to bed to prepare for our early start. Could have been a wise move. 12/6/07  Not too bad. Getting up at 3.50am after a few beers should have been worse. It was made better by the fact that we knew the porters would have tea and toast waiting for us, and that we only had a few km to walk to Macchu Picchu. We were just setting off when we heard the first group reach the check point. Damn, that was supposed to be us. What time did they get up? We set off down the dirt track in the dark. It was only a short walk to the check point. We had to wait for an hour for the check point to open. We were still second in line. The queue built up fast behind us. It was nice to stand in the dark, looking up at the billons of stars, seeing a few shooting ones, all to the sound of the girls in the group singing ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. After the gate opened, we set off on the dark path again, with the roar of the river far below us and a trail of torches following behind.
We arrived at the sun gate at 6.30am. As we walked up the steps and through the gate, we got our first view of Macchu Picchu spread out below us. It’s huge. We were told that only 60% of it has been uncovered and restored, another 40% is still covered in rain forest. 
As we walked down the track we met up with Olly, Janet & Joe (Ireland) who was part of the new group. When we reached the start of Macchu Picchu, we sat on one of the high terraces, had a bite to eat and took in the view. It is amazing. This Inca city, covering and entire ridge and surrounded by mountains. We walked through the ruins with Ozzi giving us the history behind some of the buildings and the sundial. Macchu Picchu was officially discovered in 1911, but some Peruvian farmers had been living in it before then. It is named after the mountain that towers over it, Macchu Picchu meaning ‘old mountain’. 
At the other end of the complex is a smaller mountain called Wayna Picchu, or ‘young mountain’. After our guided tour we had some free time. Myself, Olly, Joe, Anna & Helen decided to take the 2 hour round trip trek to the top of Wayna Picchu. We were told that G.A.P. would not be responsible for us if anything untoward was to happen. That was like a red rag to a bull. We had to get a view of the area that your average tourist doesn’t get. The summit is 300m above Macchu Picchu. We soon found out why the travel company wouldn’t be responsible for us. The path zig zagged up the side, almost vertically. It was steeper than anything we had previously walked. In most places the path wasn’t even half a meter across, and right below you was the valley. And this was a 2 way path, we had to keep pulling over to let people back down. I saw a lot of old people coming down and figured that it can’t be as bad as it looks. A little over halfway up, we turned off of the dirt and stone stepped path, and onto stone steps set into the side of the ruins. More of a stone ladder than steps. I could see people coming down them on their bums. 
Luckily, on the way up, we turned off halfway up and walked out onto a grass terrace. This took us around for our first view of Macchu Picchu from the North. We could see how far we had actually climbed. After a few photos, we carried on our way to the top. 
The start of this entails crawling through a small stone tunnel. No mean feat with a backpack. I very nearly got stuck. After the tunnel we had to climb a wooden ladder on to a precariously balanced rock. Only when I climbed onto this rock did I realise that this was , as near as damn it, the top. I was so freaked out, that the first thing I did was hug the ground. It was very hard to straighten my jelly legs to stand up. We were 300m above Macchu picchu, and more than double that from the valley below. After having a photo taken, I was more than happy to start the decent.
 That was until I saw what the decent consisted of. After hopping over a few rocks, we came to the first staircase, if you could call it that. It was steeply angled stone steps along the side of an Inca building. I was walking down sideways, hanging on to the building for dear life. We only had to go halfway down these steps, which was handy, as there was nothing at the bottom but the valley below. One slip and you’d be taking the fast route to the bottom. Seriously. After walking through the building, paying absolutely no attention to the craftsmanship that had gone into the ancient structure as I was trying to slow my heart rate, we came to the stone steps that I saw people sliding down as we were climbing up. It looked twice as steep from the top. There was no way I was going down facing the valley. I went down backwards, hanging on so tightly with my hands that sometimes I didn’t want to let go. Anna, Olly & Helen were like mountain goats and shot down the mountain, while me and Joe took it pretty easy. Joe was brave enough to attempt a photo of me going down the steps. It was the hardest smile I’ve ever had to come up with. Once we were back on the main path, things got a little easier. We realised we were pushed for time to get back to the bus, so we blocked out how high we were and shot down to the bottom. Not too sure why or group insurance didn’t cover this expedition! Once at the bottom we had to find the exit, where the rest of the group would be waiting for us. It was like myself and Joe were in the Amazing Race, taking dirt tracks over ruins, ending up in dead end alley & pushing overweight American tourists out of our way. After spending 4 days trekking the Inca trail, you feel you have earned the right to be at Macchu Picchu, more so than all of the tourists. We arrived at the meeting point out of breath & sweaty, but on time.
We took the bus down a very windy, dusty track to the town of Agua Calliantes (Hot water). It gets it’s name from the natural hot springs there. After a well earned lunch with beer, it was time to head off to the springs. There were about 6-8 small pools all filled with varying temperature, sulphur infused (egg smelling) water. We laid up for about an hour, testing the different pools. It felt so good after all that walking.  After a swift run back into town, it was time to catch the train back to Ollantaytambo. On boarding the train, we were surprised that we weren’t sharing with cows and chickens. It was all quite nice, with windows going right up into the roof, so we could take in the views. Out of the blue, about 15 minutes into the trip, some music came on, and a guy in a spooky white balaclava & rainbow coloured hat started to do some dancing through the aisle of the carridge. Entertaining, but very bizarre, but not as bizarre as what happened next. The male & female stewards, that had just served us drinks, put on a fashion show of genuine Alpaca clothing. Mostly shawls for the ladies, and some very fashionable sweaters for the men, modelled excellently by the male steward, complete with ‘blue steel’ poses, largely aimed at Anna. The night before, Ozzi had mentioned about the 24 hour challenge. To wake up at 4am today and go right through until 4am tomorrow morning. It was agreed that people could nap on the train and bus ride and would not be disqualified.
 
On arrival back at Cuzco, we rushed in for a shower and a change of clothes, before heading out for dinner at 9.30pm. Dinner was at a flash restaurant, where they had oh-so yummy cocktails, but the highlight was getting to try Cuy, or guinea pig to you. It came out whole on a platter, complete with a chilli in It’s mouth, before being taken away and cut up for us. I believe I had a breast piece, complete with stumpy little leg. Now, you don’t get an awful lot of meat on a Cuy, and being that it had been stuffed with mint (how do you stuff a guinea pig?), that is pretty much all I could taste. It was edible, but not sure I’d order it as a main meal. 
After dinner Ozzi took us to Mythology night club, where after a few beers, we were all dancing like loonies on the stage. After a few more beers, we headed to Mother Africa, another club a few doors down, where more drinking, dancing & singing took place. After being offered some type of drug by a bouncer, for the umpteenth time since arriving in Cuzco (do I look that desperate?), things took a step up in the club. People in our group were hooking up left, right & centre. But what happens on tour, stays on tour J Come the magic hour of 4am, there were only 4 of us left in the club, myself, Joe, Kim & Anna. We’d made it. On making it back to the hotel, we found Ozzi, Helen & Kate outside. Can’t say what was going on there. On staggering up to my room, I found it somewhat engaged J So I settled in for the night on a wicker chair on one of the floors. Shortly after, Helen went up to bed and let me in on a little gossip. About Half hour or so later, I got a tap on the head from Amanda, saying that she had heard me sleeping in the hall and that I should try my room again. This time all was clear and I could finally head to bed. 13/6/07  After a fantastic 3 hours sleep, I dragged my sorry arse downstairs for breakfast. Very little was going to happen today. I wondered around some of the narrow, cobbled streets, fending off street sellers every 5 mins. The phrase ‘No gracias’ is a life saver. I headed back for a nap at midday, before heading out to find a bargain at the markets. In the arvo we met at Paddy’s Bar to catch up on a bit more gossip from the night before. After our jungle briefing at the hotel in the evening, Anna & Kim invited us back to their hostel, where we cooked up a cracking dinner. Between myself, Olly, Amanda, Anna & Kim, we cooked up a pretty fine meal of garlic bread & spag bol all accompanied with a Chilean Red wine. It was a very easy going night.
14/6/07 Today was the day we leave Cuzco. I’m going to kind of miss it. Cars honking horns, dogs running wild, people offering me drugs. It sounds bad, but it was an enjoyable place. Much better than Lima. We caught a 10.45am flight out of Cuzco on what was to be a memorable journey. During the pre-flight instructions, one of the stewardess’ got very upset that nobody was listening to her, and made her feelings known. Not a happy bunny. Shortly after take off we hit a fair bit of turbulence, not helped by the fact that the pilot didn’t know which way to turn. It’s been a long time since I was that scared on a plane. During the flight itself, I was telling Olly & Amanda a story with very expressive arm movements. Unknown to me, the cranky air stewardess was approaching from behind with a tray of sweets. She draw level with me about the same time as my arm swung in a large arc towards the ceiling. There were sweets everywhere. I got my own personal death stare from the stewardess. She didn’t deliver anymore sweets after that. Luckily the rest of the flight was incident free. On arriving at Peurto Maldonado, the climate change was amazing. Instead of fresh air and a cool breeze, we got high temperatures and high humidity. Lots of sweating. After we had sorted out our luggage at the G.A.P. office, we took a 1 hour bus journey into the jungle to meet our boat. We then had a 2 hour journey up stream to the lodge. On the way we saw butterflies of all colours, Turtles, Birds of Prey & a Caiman, a small type of Alligator. It was on this boat trip that the tiny Sand flies discovered how tasty I was. 
Libertador Tambopata Jungle Eco Lodge is a nice place consisting of wooden bungalows with traditional leaf thatched roofs, and being an Eco Lodge there is no electricity and all of the lighting consists of candles. On arriving we had some free time to have a look around, take a nap or drink beer. Obvious choice really. At around 6.30pm we watched a slide show on the layout of the river & the wildlife around it. After this we were split into 2 groups. Our group, myself, Olly, Amanda, Kim, Anna & Eric (Belgium) took a stroll into the jungle when it was dark. We saw lots of jumping spiders, a green tree snake, a wild rat and sleeping butterflies. But by far the highlight of the walk was Ollys reaction when I ran a leaf over his ear in the dark J At one point we turned all of our torches off and listened to the sounds of the jungle. Although you could see the stars through the canopy of the trees, it really did go pitch black. I even put my hand in front of my face, and nope, couldn’t see it. 
After yet another delicious dinner, there was time for more beer and a few games of cards before bed. I had a great nights sleep in my own mozzie proof cocoon. 15/6/07  Woken up at 5.30am. Actually woken up. That was the best nights sleep I’ve had since arriving in Peru. I guess it helped that there were no car horns beeping and it wasn’t -9*C. After breakfast, we headed down to the boat to set off for our morning trek. On the way up stream we saw another Caiman settled on the river bank waiting for the sun. We pulled up at a small docking point at the side of the river and started on our jungle trek. Some of the trees were truly huge. We saw huge strangler figs that wrap themselves around another tree, then slowly eat it away until there is nothing left but the hollow fig tree.
Luis, our guide, went Tarantula fishing. Using a long, thin stick, he poked it into the spider burrow. I’ve seen these spiders on TV a lot, but when this thing came out of Its burrow, It was huge. Bigger, blacker and hairier than you can imagine. 
After a bit more walking we arrived at our destination, an Oxbow lake, where we hopped aboard a small catamaran. The other group had arrived first and had already started to fish for Pirana. As we jumped aboard, Urial, the other guide, pulled out a small white Pirana. Shortly afterwards, Ricky pulled out a larger Yellow Bellied Pirana, with nice sharp teeth. I tried my hand at fishing too, but just had to watch as loads of little Piranas swarmed over my bait and devoured it without even touching my hook. 
As we paddled around the lake we saw various types of birds and some bats hiding under a log. Once we reached the other side of the lake, we went for a walk around to see some enormous trees. There was a strangler fig that you could comfortably fit 4 people inside. There were vines hanging from it that managed to hold my weight. I don’t know how Tarzan used them, It’s bloody hard work. While we were paddling back across the lake, the guides stopped the boat and asked if we wanted a swim. That’s right, the very same lake we just caught pirana in. So of course several of us jumped at the chance. There was a few nerves involved, but all was well, until I noticed Ricky still fishing for Pirana off the side of the boat! Once we had taken the boat back to where we started, it was time for the walk back. 
There were butterflies of all shapes and sizes everywhere, myself and Gill even saw a frog that looked like a leaf. 
It was great to get back to the lodge and get out of our sweaty clothes, have a cool shower and relax for a few hours before a delicious lunch. After lunch, while we were sat around comparing bug bites (I think Kim won, but I was definitely close) & discussing the best use of DEET, Luis jumped up from the table and told us to follow him. In one of the trees in camp, were 4 Dusky Titi Monkeys feeding. That afternoon, we went for a walk on an official monkey spotting tour. We saw none. Once it had gotten dark, it was time to head out on the boat again. This time looking for Caiman. No sooner had we left the port, when our eagle eyed guide spotted one on the opposite bank. It was a shy little thing, about 1m long, that ran away and hid after a few photos. On our trip upstream we saw 6-8 more Caiman, the biggest being about 1.5m long, that slid down the muddy bank towards us & floated off past the boat. Towards the end of our boat trip, they turned all of the lights off, stopped the engine and let us just float down stream in the dark. It was so peaceful, staring up at the night sky, the boat rocking gently and the sounds of the jungle echoing along the river. It was so hard not to fall asleep...so I did. No sooner had we sat down for dinner, still swaying from the boat trip, then we were called outside to see a Two Toed Sloth that had paid a visit to camp. After dinner, while I popped back to my cabin, the rest of the group got to see a Porcupine that had decided to wonder past the kitchens. The rest of the evening was a relatively quiet affair for most of us. Just a few glasses of wine in the bar, a game of cards & an early night. 16/6/07 Not such a good nights sleep. I was woken up at 3.30am by people talking and walking around on the gravel paths. I found out at breakfast, that Eric the Belgian stayed on in the bar after we all left. He finished at 3 ish and promptly fell over in the dark, broke his torch and lost his key. He managed to wake up some of the camp staff and had to be helped to bed. He ignored the 6.30am wake up call. He ignored attempts by several people to wake him up. He missed breakfast, and we all wished that he had missed the boat out of the jungle. But no, he finally dragged his sorry ass out of bed, leaving us a tight schedule to reach the airport. After a big rush, we had made it to the airport, checked in, paid departure tax and made it to the departure lounge on time, only to find that our plane was late. In fact, it was so late, the plane taking the rest of the group arrived before ours. We thought there would be a race for who would take off first. But when our plane eventually turned up, he did a good job of blocking to other plane in. They weren’t going anywhere in a hurry. After the flight into the jungle, I really wasn’t looking forward to the flight back. It didn’t help that as we taxied down the runway, the woman next to me made the sign of the cross. Luckily the flight went without major incident (I sat on my hands, just to be safe). We had said goodbye to Kim & Anna before boarding, as we were leaving them at Cuzco airport to continue their travels, while myself, Olly and Amanda carried on to lovely Lima. On arriving back at the hotel, I just had time to count up my bug bites, my itchy mementos of the jungle. I had a personal record of approx 220, including over 75 just below my right knee & 3 on my face. Highly  attractive. The 3 of us then headed out to try some traditional Peruvian fair for lunch, including Ceviche (raw fish) & Roccoto Relleno (Spicy pepper stuffed with meat). Later that evening, we met up with the rest of the guys, not eric, for a traditional Peruvian dinner. It just happened to be at the same restaurant that we had lunch at. This time I had Anticuchos de Corazon (marinated grilled beef heart), and Goat north Peruvian style. Not bad at all. After dinner a few of us went to a small bar with Rosio, the other groups constant guide, called El Tayta. This was a quiet, friendly place with a very long happy hour, with Mojitos being the order of the evening. After an hour or so, most of the guys headed home, leaving myself, Joe, Rosio & a couple of her friends. We sat drinking, chatting & listening to some live music, when Rosio managed to get a game of Jenga from the bar staff. This is where things get hazy. The happy hour had ended & we were drinking fishbowl sized cocktails, and playing Jenga for shots. I had a pretty good run, but lost just before we decided to leave the bar. From there, Rosio dragged  us to the Bier Haus, a club just off of the square in Miraflores. Once inside , we got chatting to 2 guys & a girl who, it turns out, were friends and relatives of another G.A.P. guide. Very friendly people. For most of his holiday, Joe had been trying to learn a chat up line that he could use on the local ladies. Rosio had taught him ‘Eres muy bella’ or ‘You are very beautiful’. So after spying 2 lovely latin ladies on a table on their own, he decided to give it a go. Despite Joe struggling with English by this stage of the night, his line had some kind of effect. The next thing we knew, he was strutting on the dance floor with her. While watching this unfold, the girl we had met said that her boyfriend didn’t like to dance and would I dance with her. Now, I like to shake my arse after a few beers as much as anybody, but this was another fellas girl friend. Plus, in the clubs over here, they do actually salsa dance. Most of you are aware of my dancing ability by now, and it’s not exceptionally good. So how would I salsa at 5.30am after a lot of booze?? I’ve got to say, I did ok, not good, but ok. I wiggled my arse and followed her steps, managing not to tread on her feet. Not bad considering. At 6 ish, myself & Rosio headed off, leaving Joe with his latin lady and directions to his hotel. We walked back to the hotel and on arriving back, saw Joe being dropped off by the girls, a very happy man. I eventually made it back to my hotel about 7am. Two 24 hour days in a week. 17/6/07 Very little was going to happen again today! After a very short sleep, myself and Olly headed out for brunch and a wander around Miraflores. That didn’t last long, and we headed back to the hotel to have a nana nap & watch some crappy TV. At 3 ish we headed over to Claire & Rickys hotel room for some food & drink and to say goodbye to Joe and Fiona who were flying out. The group was down to four of us. It was actually getting kind of lonely. You get put into a room, or onto a bus with a bunch of strange people and nobody really knows how to make the first move, but then, after 2 weeks you are losing your new best mates as they head home, thousands of miles away from you. All kind of sad, but the memories are always there...until the alzheimers kicks in anyway! I made it until 8pm before heading back to the hotel and collapsing. 
18/6/07-19/6/07 D-Day My last day in Lima and it was also my best nights sleep. With half a day to kill, myself & Olly headed out to find a bargain at the Inca Markets. I really didn’t need any more Alpaca stuff. So before long, we were racing back to the hotel to check out. We walked over to Claire and Rickys hotel for lunch, as the 3 of us were on the same flight across the Atlantic. It wasn’t long before the taxi arrived to take us to the airport. We said goodbye to Olly, who was staying in Lima an extra night. I think he was envious of us. Everybody had had enough of Lima. The smog, the car horns, just generally feeling unsafe. Definitely not as nice as Cuzco. On arriving at the airport, we had a run in with the check in lady. She had screwed up Claires meal requirements and wanted to send my bags to Brussels. Not very helpful. We headed for a bite to eat, bought some duty free and finally boarded the plane. After a long and uneventful flight, we arrived in sunny Madrid. After queuing at the transfers desk, I was told that I would be taking a different flight from Ricky & Claire back to England. This was a problem, as the two flights arrived in at different terminals, and all of my luggage was in Rickys name, on the other plane. So after a phone call to mum & dad, and arranging for them to meet Ricky & Claire at Heathrow to collect my bags, we said our goodbyes to each other and headed off to different terminals. As I headed through security, I had my Duty free Vodka taken off of me. I was told that I couldn’t take alcohol onto the plane that was bought outside the EU. After a stand up argument with security, I stormed off, and they headed off to drink my Vodka. On arriving down at the terminals, I realised that I had left my jacket on the plane from Peru. So I headed down to speak to the Iberian staff at the help desk. Most unhelpful help desk in the world. They found my jacket, but couldn’t get it to me. What the?? I have 2 hours to kill, and they can’t get my jacket from one building to the other. Bunch of lazy arses. I’m now even less happy. I head off and re-purchase my confiscated duty free. When the time came to board my plane, I headed up to collect my boarding pass, and found out that I had dropped my plane ticket. The gate staff wouldn’t let me on the plane without it, despite the fact that I had a carbon copy of it, and had been issued a temporary boarding pass. So after an argument with them (it had been nearly 20 hours since i’d left my hotel), and 10 minutes to spare until the plane left, I had to run through the airport trying to find my ticket. I found it with minutes to spare at the information desk. I ran all the way back to the plane, made it just in time, only to find out that the flight was delayed due to a storm over London. We got off of the ground after a 20 minute delay, and had a nice flight over the English Channel, until we reached the coast of England. It clouded up outside, and the turbulence started. A few minutes into this, a message came over the intercom from the Captain. ‘Could the cabin crew please take their seats, as it’s turned green outside.’ I looked out the window, and sure enough, it was green out there. Spooky. Not only did the turbulence get worse, but lightning started to flash at the wings of the plane. I stopped looking out the window. The captain did a fantastic job of landing the plane, and I was glad to get off it. After a quick wash and brush up, I headed out to meet my parents for the first time in 18 months. |
Lifetime
